I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
