You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
