Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
