Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
