if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
