My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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