so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
