i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I didn't notice because vodka
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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