Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
