It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she peed on how many people?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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