we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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