she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
