There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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