How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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