We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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