I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
