fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
