ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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