it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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