she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
pray to the hookup gods
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
