im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
