i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
