you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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