i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
