When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
