Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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