i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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