Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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