I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
