my sisters under your porch take her home
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
