He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
vagina is talking i cant
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
