i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
