I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize