It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
