somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
