I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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