At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
