thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
