So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
