Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just blew my weed a kiss
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
