just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
