Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
