hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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