I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
