Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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