How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
