her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it glows. i had to have it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
