I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
