If that was your dad, he is hot
...so i touched it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
