Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
