Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just had sex on a roof
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
