Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
